Dear Mark: Today is February 23rd, 2004, but at times I still feel like it's that Tuesday again. I know we're going on to year 4 since that dreadful day, and yet, I still have difficulty making sound decisions about my life, my career, my future without the wisdom of an older brother.
This world is lonely without you -- I am lonely for you. No one can replace the void of my older brother of 3 1/2 years. And it eats away at my heart every day.
The picture of the 3 of us, (you, me and Harv), from your wedding day rests peacefully above my bed. I stare at it often, along with a panoramic show of Downtown Manhattan, The Towers still standing proud.
It seems like there will be reflective pools which will bear the name of the victims -- how I wish you didn't have to be one of them. But aren't there so many like me.
If there is anything you taught me which resonates in my ear, it's this -- never use the word HATE in a sentence...you "hated" that. You shared it was a very strong word and couldn't really convey the true emotion I feel.
Well, you know what -- I HATE that you're not with me. I HATE that I am turning the same age this year as how you left me -- 26! How am I to turn 26 without you turning 30? Please, tell me...
I struggle daily with this, but as I know, tears do little more than stain a shirt -- mascara included. Remember how I used to stain those button down shirts of yours...I am such a good crier.
Well, it's February 23rd -- you always knew my birthday was March 8th. I am sorry I ever doubted that.
I love you, dear brother...
I remember you every day - in my thoughts, my emotions, my actions and my prayers.
Peace be with you -
Your doting sister,
Sara